Agents are go!!! Gambus Kahn here, with a review of a very elite game; what game might that be you ask? Elite Beat Agents, another crazy game from Japan. I have played the original Japanese version of this game which I will just abbreviate as OSU, since I would sound like a complete idiot if I tried to spell the full title without my trusty Japanese translator with me. OSU was a fantastic DS game and Elite Beat Agents is just as good if not better!
If I had to describe this game in one sentence it would be something like this. SUPER COMIC BOOK RHYTHM GAME TO HELP PEOPLE’S LIVES!!! Ok, now I bet that you have even more questions than before, considering how outlandish that descriptive sentence was. Elite Beat Agents is a rhythm game based in a graphic novel narrative, in which you play destiny itself.
You see, the Agents come to the rescue to those who call on them in a moment of distress, and help the individual though what else, DANCING!!! A good dance routine is the deference between victory and defeat, yes I know that this concept seems to be completely and utterly insane, but just wait until you play this sucker.
Like I stated earlier, the story of this game is displayed in a comic book narrative that shall bring with it a nice shinny smile on all of the faces that believe in love, justice, and blue light specials at K-Mart. The stories that are told in this game will reach down and touch your heart, right before it rips it out of your chest. Tales of great and terrible troubles, such as the girl who wants the football player to “go steady” with her, but has to baby-sit; or the weathergirl who promised to take her son out on a picnic, but the forecast says rain.
The bright colors of the anime-like narrative will please any fanboy (or girl) as they must hit orbs as they appear to the beat of the music. You must believe me when I tell you that I only have white-mans rhythm, which means that playing this sweet game, was an uphill battle.
I love the sound of music blasting into my duo earlobes in the morning, and the soundtrack to this game is super. Great hetero-sexual favorites such as Y.M.C.A. will make want to dress like a sailor and dry-hump a fire hydrant in no time (I did). Other songs such as Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” will make you cringe in complete and utter horror, sorry Avril but I dumping you today, but we can still be friends. This game also introduced me to the greatest love song ever, “I was born to love you” by Mr. Freddie (Queen) Mercury, by which made me rush out to download this track from I-Tunes (I like girls, really).
Elite Beat Agents is a great game to those who see no sham in shaking your grove thing on DDR. Until next time, I will be waiting for Elite Beat Agents 2 so that I can help Tae-Kon-Do Master Yoshi teach his students to the song, “Get Physical”, this is Gambus Kahn out.