BMX XXX

BMX XXX

What we liked:

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What we didn't like:

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Rating
7.5
DEVELOPER: Z-Axis   |   PUBLISHER: Acclaim   |   RELEASE: 11/10/2002

The world is a very funny place. We take so many things for granted and yet still find time to frequent the internet message boards and bitch about what we don’t have. If you think about it the first and most important thing you have is freedom of choice, no one makes you do anything you don’t want to do. Unless you are being hassled by the mob or being blackmailed the freedom is yours to enjoy. The funny thing is when a company decided to throw a little humor and adult content into a videogame it has both good and bad consequences. On the good side the mature gamers get an enjoyable experience with some nice rewards, such as boobies. On the bad side we get an unnecessary amount of controversy over a game that, just last year was only noticed by fans of the original series. What else could I be talking about besides BMX XXX, and the XBox version is chock full of naked goodness, read on gamers!

Sure when you look at this game you are not going to be blown away by it’s graphical prowess. You aren’t going to be empowered by the glory that is XBox, what you are going to get is a solid looking game with a few problems. The character models are blocky, the textures are a bit poor, and the frame rate can be inconsistent at times. These are common problems for PS2 ports, but the good news is that this game offers large environments with plenty of grinding and tricking goodness. This game is basically the same engine from last year’s Dave Mirra game, with that said it gets the job done. I just wish we could have some XBox-y goodness to enjoy, bump mapping, higher poly counts, and a smoother frame rate would have went a long way.

While you are jamming to the game’s massive soundtrack or one of your own this game does a good job of setting the mood. It’s BMX for Christ’s sake, the tunes are supposed to rock! The original score contains the likes of Sublime, 311, and Green Day just to name a few. I personally could live without the overused Click Click Boom intro music, I mean hasn’t that fucking song been in every extreme sports game for almost two years?!? The sound effects are pretty non-existent, sure you hear spokes churning and chains munching sometimes but for the most part the effects are dormant. The character chatter however is hilarious. Pulling a mad trick in front of the gardener will get you a deserved “That was fuckin’ awesome kid!” and the hot dog vendor demands you to know the power of his wiener! Yes this game is plagued with foul language and crude humor, but you would know that if you read the rating descriptor on the back like the good parents you are.

If you have ever played a Dave Mirra game then expect to pick this one up quickly. With the exception of some new tweaks this game is identical. This is most assuredly not a bad thing, Mirra always had the best BMX engine, the problem comes from untimely bails because of some questionable collision detection. Your rider just falls off the bike for no reason and you are left wondering why. Upgrading your rider is crucial to advancing in this game, keeping with times as far as your stats go is a must if you plan to unlock all of those naked movies. This game has a patience learning curve for those that have yet to master the Mirra engine so expect to fail many times before becoming a pro.

I leave this review short and sweet for one reason, the game is a win/lost situation. Fans of the Mirra series are assured to enjoy this title, unless you are offended by nudity and foul language. New comers expecting to see tits and ass right off the bat are going to get frustrated with the learning curve and bail out calling this game a waste of time. My advice to you is if nudity is that important to you steal one of your dad’s porno movies and buy some Kleenex you perv. If you are a true fan of the genre and enjoy some adult entertainment as a reward you cannot go wrong with BMX XXX!

Ken McKown

Ken is the Editor-in-Chief of this hole in the wall and he loves to troll for the fun of it. He also enjoys long walks through Arkham Asylum and the cool air of Shadow Moses Island. His turn-ons include Mortal Kombat, Metal Gear Solid and StarCraft.

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