Goat Simulator (XB1) Review

Ken McKown

Bicycle-riding goats and ostriches. What else do you want?!.

Goat Simulator should have only been novel once. This stupid physics simulator is full of bugs, glitches and rarely an objective, yet once I dive into it, I can’t seem to put it down. The pointless wandering, exploding of cars, and rolling boulders over people is instantly gratifying. Now Xbox owners can finally see what all the fuss is about as Goat Simulator is now on 360 and XB1, complete with all the bugs and glitches.

There is no beating around the bush here, Goat Simulator is stupid. The goal is that there really is no goal. Players are tossed into open environments with an arbitrary list of challenges and events, but the main draw is seeing just how much stupid stuff I can do. Attaching my tongue to a car as it does donuts in a cornfield, or flying off the top of a building with an unwieldy jetpack, these are the moments that kept me coming back for more.

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MSRP: $9.99
Platforms: XB1, 360, PC
Price I’d Pay: $9.99
Multiplayer: 4-player split screen (XB1) 2-player (360)

There are a host of mutators to unlock that change up the insanity, like the aforementioned jetpack, the ability to double jump and even other animal skins. Yes, it is possible to be an ostrich, or even a giraffe, because well, it’s just stupid enough.

There are also a ton of secrets and Easter Eggs hidden throughout the levels. Some are clever, some are hilarious and others are just plain dumb. Goat Simulator lives up to its name; it simulates being a goat. Headbutting people with outlandish physics is pure dumb fun, and anyone looking for the definition of time-waster needs to look no further.

Bringing the game to consoles hasn’t changed much. There are a few additions such as a teleporter and even four-player split screen mayhem on Xbox One (360 only supports two), but the core experience remains untouched. They did manage to eliminate the game-crashing bugs, which were intentional in the PC outing. The menus are still clunky and confusing at times, but like everything else, I wonder if it is entirely intentional.

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Visually there aren’t a whole lot of changes from the PC version to Xbox One. The same weird physics exist alongside the cheap, repetitious soundtrack. Although the disco tune is still copious amounts of funky, if not annoying.

Goat Simulator is the definition of dumb fun. It serves no purpose other than to entertain. I have derived far too many hours of enjoyment out of a game with little purpose. It is another sign that gaming has changed, and we are able to enjoy disasterpieces like this one. If you enjoy just toying around in a glitch-field world, and love to smile, Goat Simulator should definitely be on your list of games to play this Spring.

Review copy of game provided by publisher.

Good

  • Getting to be a goat
  • Also a giraffe
  • Disco music

Bad

  • Menus still clunky
  • It serves no purpose
  • Also a giraffe...?
7

Good

Ken McKown

Ken is the Editor-in-Chief of this hole in the wall and he loves to troll for the fun of it. He also enjoys long walks through Arkham Asylum and the cool air of Shadow Moses Island. His turn-ons include Mortal Kombat, Metal Gear Solid and StarCraft.

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