Coffin Dodgers (XB1) Review

Justin Celani

What year is this?

Hey everyone! Have you heard of the newest driving game called Coffin Dodgers? No? Well let me fill players in on the skinny. Death has come to town and he is claiming the souls of old people. So they team up to get their scooters upgraded and hatch a plan. They confront death and ask if they beat him in a race, can they keep their souls? He agrees and the races begin…oh and zombies come into play too. I wish I was making this stuff up but I promise I’m not.

Good, bad, old.

Alright so right off the bat, I see we have the story mode, open world mode, tutorials. Ok, not so bad, maybe there is more to this game than meets the eye. Choosing story mode is what leads to that lovely synopsis from above, and I proceed to pick my character, which I see no other redeeming factors of who I pick aside from them all look old and have different histories. How does this effect the game? I don’t know if it does.

coffindodgers_02

MSRP: $10.99
Platforms: XB1, PS4, PC
Price I’d Pay: $0.00
Multiplayer: N/A

OK let’s move past that, the race starts, and old people are off. It seems like a low budget Mario Kart, not the worst game to get inspiration from. So now imagine everything about Mario Kart. The track designs, the fun weapons and boosts abilities, the colorful worlds, and sublime control and framerate. Remove all of that and it becomes clear exactly what this game is. An attempt at making a kart racing game with a unique zany set up. If only the game was as good as its silly premise.

I tried to enjoy it as much as I could, playing track after track. The same monotonous experience seem to repeat itself, almost as much as the grating music. As each circuit, if I can all it that, has their own unique music, those three different courses play the same over and over again. I’m to the point of wanting to slam my controller into my head, as I have a headache. Then the framerate goes sporadic at times, and it’s not as if this game is a system power pusher at all, so I’m not even sure of the reason why this would be happening. I eventually quit and decide to try the open world out.

coffindodgers_05

It also proceeds to have me driving around, finding items across the world with a horrible arrow that tells me to drive through walls and buildings, which isn’t possible, instead of pointing the way via the roads. My frustration is to an all-time high. Oh, zombies start appearing in the levels that players can crash into as well. Why? I’m not so sure but this game had me scratching my head with WTF moments the entire time.

I’m not one to really trash on games and I give most the benefit of the doubt, but I found about zero redeeming qualities in Coffin Dodgers. It’s got poorly designed, simplistic tracks, N64 like graphics, grating sound and music, floaty controls, and the only slight interest was the premises of it all, which it does absolutely nothing interesting with. The game works and I didn’t have any glitches so there is that much, but that’s about all I can say positively.

Review copy of game provided by publisher.

Good

  • Silly premise

Bad

  • Visuals
  • Sound
  • Framerate
  • Track design
2

Insulting

Justin Celani
Justin is a long time passionate fan of games, not gaming drama. He loves anything horror related, archaeology inspired adventures, RPG goodness, Dr Pepper, and of course his family. When it comes to crunch time, he is a beast, yet rabies free we promise.
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