Call of Duty. One of the best selling game franchises that has ever been produced. There is no denying the fact that people love this franchise. If you know me, it’s now surprise that it blows my mind how successful Call of Duty is considering how much the games suck.
Let’s start off from the beginning, Call of Duty; originally a World War II first person shooter, yeah, the one war that hasn’t been played to death. People liked it, but even back then, Medal of Honor was still holding the crown of D-Day simulators. So, what do they decide to do? Release a crap-ton more Call of Duty games based in World War II! We got The Finest Hour on the consoles, Big Red One (not sure if it’s the chewing gum or Clifford they are talking about), Call of Duty 2, Call of Duty 3. All based on World War II. This is almost as bad as the amount of Street Fighter games. I mean, I can only play the invasion of Normandy so many times before my eyes bleed. We get it. We kicked ass at Normandy. America, F yeah!
Look Ma! Storming Normandy…again!
Now, to make matters worse, since Activision wants to pump out games faster than the Octo-mom squeezes out babies, they had to get two studios to develop these games: Infinity Ward and Treyarch. What quickly ended up happening was people noticed the quality of the games start to circle the drain. So, you would play Infinity Ward’s Call of Duty that would suck, and the year after, play Treyarch’s Call of Duty that sucked even more ass.
The stories were the same old military nonsense. “We gotta get over to Bravo and destroy the artillery guns! Oh, No! They’re flanking us!” Blah, blah. Just remember: Nazi’s are bad guys, shoot them, you win.
But wait! Infinity Ward said, “We’re sick of being stuck in the 1940’s!” So they come out with Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. Now THIS is a big change. Instead of shooting Nazis, you’re shooting terrorists, AKA Nazis from the Middle East. This time they put a story in the game. I take that back. They TRIED to put a story in the game. What actually happens is a mix of convoluted story arcs and constant changing of characters in the middle of the game. And the dialog now makes even less sense. OMG, we’re FUBAR, Captain Snafu! I saw a fox trot over to Oscar, Mike!
Oh, good. Now it’s time for Treyarch’s game, and we’re back in World…War…II?…OK. So, what happened to the story in Modern Warfare? Do you play as Modern Warfare’s main character’s grandfather? Nope (because there is no “main character” in Modern Warfare). It’s going to be a separate game from now on. Why? Oh, just because. At least the title fits, Call of Duty: World at War. A lot of people were kinda pissed that it was going to be back to World War II, but they still bought it. Why complain if you’re going to still buy it? One word: Baaaaaaaaaaa. Nazis made this special gas that kills everything, and we have to stop them. The end. Oh, let’s not forget one other little thing. What’s more overused than World War II? Yep, you guessed it: Zombies. Guess what was added to Call of Duty? Nazi zombies. Ugh. In fact, more people wanted to play the zombie mode than the actual multiplayer.
Terrorists your game is through, now you have to answer to, AMERICA! F#$% Yeah!
Another year goes by; Infinity Ward comes out with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. What number are we on, again? Also, we’re back in present day? Why do we have to time travel? I feel like I’m in a bad episode of Quantum Leap, the one where Sam leaps into the pregnant lady. And then his water breaks. And out comes Call of Duty from his lady man (man lady?) parts. This one takes place after Call of Duty 4, and has most of the same characters from that game. Oh, snap! This time, the United States is being invaded by, Russia? Nazis from the Middle East? Both of them? Hell, I can’t tell anymore. Like I said, shoot bad guys, and apparently, civilians in a crowded airport. Fun.
Finally, Treyarch has decided to join us in the real world and release Call of Duty: Black Ops that takes place in 1968…well, at least we’re out of the 1940’s. This time we’re fighting bad guys from all over the place. The Nazi gas that was introduced in World at War is back and conspiracies are all around. The story is confusing enough as it is. Don’t go adding more crap to the confusion. Oh, and ZOMBIES! Yeah, it’s a staple now. I’ve even heard people say they will be pissed if the zombie mode isn’t back in the next game. How’s about this, PLAY LEFT 4 DEAD.
Let’s not forget, Infinity Ward’s next Modern Warfare game is coming out later this year. Oh, that’s right. Infinity Ward’s not making Call of Duty 8: Modern Warfare 3 Prestige Hyper Combo Edition. Activision canned them and said “ANYONE can make a Call of Duty game! It’s easy!” Maybe Infinity Ward saw the light and decided to make decent games. Good for them. Now we have split the game into to development teams: Sledgehammer Games and Raven Software. Let’s see how convoluted we can get.
Has anyone seen my chocolate milk anywhere?
Of course, everyone loves the multiplayer of the Call of Duty games. That’s why they are so successful. I don’t get it, why play the exact same game over and over each year? “Oh, but this time you can put tags on your profile and that way EVERYONE can see how much I like smoking weed.” Way to hit your target demographic, developers. Ever since Call of Duty 4, the same game has been released every year: same multiplayer, same single player. The only thing that’s changed is a few new guns, new perks, and new maps. Don’t worry, though, if you miss the old maps, they’ll rehash them for you and give you three of them for $15. Enjoy getting ripped off. Baaaaaaaaaaaa.
So there’s a history lesson of suckage for the Call of Duty franchise. People keep buying it every year and Activision will keep pumping them out. Pretty soon, the next Call of Duty will just have a roster update for you. In fact, if you keep this up, they may even throw in John Madden commentary to give it that authentic feel. “I think whatever team has the most kills at the end of the game is going to be the winner.” “Boom! He put some mustard on that grenade.”
I’m throwing a pre-emptive strike to the inevitable haters of this article. No, I do not think Battlefield is a better game. I hate those comparisons. Battlefield sucks just as bad as Call of Duty does, but that is a topic for another time. Call of Duty, you just plain suck.
dakan45
“how about play l4d”
How about a game that zombies don run towards you?
In any case since you said that bf sucks too, well, i just dont know what to say, yeah it sucks, but id rather stick to cod, why? becaue its ripofss like crysis 2, moh and homefront were NOT any better, alternative fps like bulletstorm and brink flopped badly.
So we live in a world that either ALL fps suck or in a word that cod is actually better than all that crap i pointed out which someone who hates cod has left as alternatives.
noob
there are so many games better than cod. CS, halo, team fortress 2 and battlefield > cod since they actually have a fucking skill gap.
dakanissmart
I can’t believe you compared Call of Duty to Crysis or Homefront… you are a complete jack ass please stop spewing your useless opinions on the internet.
dakanissmart
OH yeah, I forgot consoles suck my big fat cock and anyone who playes gaybox or playstation Pee is a fucking faggot, get a pc that doesn’t have 6 year old technology for $200 dollars, where you can get 1,000 GB for $80 instead of 250 for $300… seriously if you think consoles are good then you need to take a step back and look at them…
Jack
You pc Fanboys baffle me you are so desperete to feel superior that you bash everything that is not pc Hmph Jackasses cant you just game in peace with your pcs fanboys By the Way CoD Does suck
Fistfucker
Dakan, you’re a fuckin’ moron..CoD sucks more than your fuckin’ pig squealing whore of a mother. MOH WAS OUT FIRST…douche….CRYSIS IS A SCI FI SHOOTER….Homefront crushed CoD…plain and simple. And Battlefield…well…CoD isn’t even in the same fucking league as Battlefield. CoD is just what Derek said, the new fuckin’ Madden. Also, Crysis 2 was much better than any CoD in terms of, well, everything. Controls…better…MP…better….storyline…better…CoD is so fuckin’ played out and faggy that it’s making the rest of the world physically fucking ill. Cheers, mate. CoD sucks fat arab sac.
bob
lol hes agreeing that call of duty sucks.
:)
I’m arab..and YOU^^ can suck my sac anytime bitch.
Your mother
For your MGS article about how it sucks,you are a fuck head.
However,I agree with this one.Glad to see i’m not the only one who hates this series.(Maby alot of people do,I don’t know,’cause it still sells big.)
nimbalo
ok
1. oscar mike means moving up as in we are oscar mike
2. they do tie in at the end….
3. are u stupid? nazis of the middle east? wtf does that mean?
CommandoDude
Play left for dead? Uhg, there’s one game I hate, a boring protagonist with a stupid premise that feels like it got stripped from Poke’mon Snap but you can TAPE A CHAINSAW TO A STICK!
I hardly see how CoD failed to have a story, if you can’t keep up with multiple characters you must not read books, since most of them do the exact same fucking thing. MW1 was also pretty damned innovative when it got released.
O________O
O look at the starnge and wonderful people on the internet arguing over nothing. Face it mostly every new FPS is not that good why you may ask? Who the hell wants to play a 5 hour long storyline filled with uninteresting characters and the same story line youve played twice 5 years ago. As for MP mostly every FPS community these days if filled with tweens that act like there fing afraid to do anything for thier team and “troll” on every person in the match.And you people spend all day “fighting” over what game system or franchise is better. Words of advice STFU no one cares and stop wasteing your finger strength to type useless shit that atracts every idiot on the internet. :)
Mattyginger
i think you mean dead rising?…i think you should do your reasharch before bashing other peoples opinions
=)
man i just clicked this link cuz i wanted to know if anyone else thought the cod franchise was bleeding ppl dry you ppl are arguing over some stupid shit and this article did not answer my question
Jesus F. Christ
Meh, it all sucks. Quake III Arena FTW!
chapstick
It’s not just Call of Duty that is the problem, it is the whole genre of modern FPS (and, no, I do not mean “modern” in setting, I mean literally the FPS genre in recent years).
Call of Duty may be guilty of kickstarting it with incredibly simplistic and dumbed down gameplay that requires no skill, but it’s the fault of the community for lapping this crap up. Call of Duty is to Counter-Strike 1.6 as a game of HORSE is to the NBA playoffs. CoD and its clones are popular because of this, because almost any idiot can just start playing and feel “good”, just like any idiot can play HORSE and feel good about shooting easy baskets in a casual setting. Another good analogy might be that playing CoD is akin to those morons who buy scratch-off tickets, whereas a game like 1.6 is like playing professional poker.
It sucks that CoD has become the norm for FPS games, but it sells well because there are millions upon of millions of BAD GAMERS out there who will pay money to play a dumbed down game in which they feel “good” because it’s so easy to get kills in a game like CoD. I’ve been playing FPS competitively since Quake 3 first dropped, then I became fascinated by Counter-Strike when it was just a small time mod for HL. I’ve seen the evolution of FPS first hand and it is not pretty. I can’t stand seeing games like CoD in which you can just aim down the sights and spray full auto and get kills, it’s so ridiculously easy. They found a way to create a FPS game in which you don’t actually need any skill to shoot!
It’s completely backwards. The genre went from having games like CS be the norm, games in which it took a lot of skill to succeed, to games like CoD become the norm, games in which all you do is aim in the general direction of someone, hold down mouse 1, and receive a kill. CoD is a game that I have watched my 65 year old father play and maintain a positive K:D ratio, I have watched high school aged girls who can barely understand Minecraft get tactical nukes in CoD games. How anyone can consider the CoD franchise to be competitive or skill-based is completely beyond me, because these same casual gamers are the people who accuse everyone in Counter-Strike of aimbotting.
But we can’t stop it. CoD is like the diet pill industry, there are millions and millions of idiots out there who will throw money at something that tells them they can be as good as the “pros”. You want to lose 30 pounds in a week and get these abs? Buy these pills! You want to make a quickscope frag montage for YouTube and look totally pro? Buy CoD! The problem is, neither of these products actually change anything, CoD does not make you good at shooters and the diet pills do next to nothing to make you lose weight.